Sara never quite understood the love of the Father or her identity in Christ. Her own earthly father was a successful entrepreneur and businessman. He only knew how to demonstrate love to her through giving money – and most of the time only when his heavy expectations were met. The pressure to succeed in her studies and life took a great toll upon her. With this past, when she became a Christian, she never knew what it meant for her heavenly Father to love her unconditionally. She found it hard to grasp the identity she had in Christ – forgiven and uncondemned.

After high school, she went overseas to study – partly to get away from the pressures of her parents. Her father wanted her to get a commerce degree so she could take over his business one day. Away from home, she struggled and failed time and again. However, after years of failure, she started to slowly get her life back on track.

Without her parents’ knowledge or approval, she studied in Bible College in a search to know more about God. She loved her Bible College. It wasn’t one that focused merely on the intellectual. It wasn’t one where super Christians came to train to become pastors. There were many Christians who were facing their own problems in life, but who wanted to know more about God.

During one of her class breaks, her lecturer sat down and talked to her - perhaps prophetically - and she shared her past with him. He told her that she didn’t know her identity in Christ or understand the Father’s love and recommended her to see a counselor who could help her. She started to attend counseling sessions. But she wanted so much to grow that she continued to email him to ask him what it means to not know her identity in Christ. Because of her earthly father, she was still struggling to understand how the heavenly Father was one who would love her and not judge her. But she was well on her way there.

Before the new term started, Sara decided to move houses. She remembered eating out a few months back and encountering a nice lady who owned the restaurant. This lady not only came from the same country she was from but was also a Christian. She raved about her church and pastor and talked a lot about spiritual things. The lady offered to rent out a room to her for a very cheap price, as Sara was also a Christian.

So Sara contacted that lady. As the lady was out of town, they agreed to meet upon her return. Sara was quite excited. Not only was the rent cheap, but this lady was a committed Christian, seemed very nice and could take care of her like a mother who loved her unconditionally – something she lacked in her own family life.

They met on a Sunday. As the lady showed Sara around the house, she asked Sara which church she went too. Sara responded that she didn’t go to any church. On that response, the lady changed totally and started criticizing her:

How can you attend Bible College and not even attend church? You don’t know God. You’re not like the other person I’ve rented the room out to. He’s a good Christian. You’re a bad Christian.

The lady went on and on criticizing Sara. She also increased the rent! Sara couldn’t defend herself. Years of hurt, rejection and fear have left her unable to stand up for herself. In her heart, she was angry and hurt. After some time of accusations, she ended the conversation and left the house. She started to cry. And cry. Throughout the day, she couldn’t get the incident out of her head. Everytime she thought about what happened, she just cried. “How can Christians be so judgemental?”

The lady never knew Sara’s past or her struggles. She didn’t know that what kept Sara away from Church was precisely Christians like her who loved to judge other Christians. Pharisees, they call them in the Bible. What Sara needed was love and acceptance. She needed grace, not judgement. Isn’t that what Christianity is about?

“I’m sorry for being so straightforward. God bless”, the lady SMSed Sara after she left the house.

Sara will face another day. She’ll overcome this and grow stronger. Thanks to some Christians, it’ll just take a little longer.