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Recently, I’ve been spending more time than usual seeking God. Basically, I’ve not been satisfied with a lot of things in my life and with my relationship with God. It’s not something just recently, but I guess it’s reached tipping point only recently. It’s not that I feel I’m not good enough for Him or that I’m filled with shame, guilt and condemnation. No, that’s been forever settled 10 years ago when I realized that I’m righteous in Christ.

It’s about me wanting more of God. Wanting to touch Him, and wanting Him to touch me. Bad theology? I dunno. Maybe? But, maybe not. The phrases “wanting more of God”, “wanting to touch Him” and “wanting Him to touch me” may not be biblical (?) but I think the cry behind it is. For example, one of my prayers during this time is Paul’s prayer in Ephesians 3:17-19:

And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have the power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge - that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

This is clearly a prayer for a greater experience of God and of Christ’s love. The Ephesians are already “rooted and established in love”. Paul is writing to the Church (Christians) in Ephesus. And his prayer is that they may “know this love that surpasses knowledge”. An oxymoron. But no doubt, it’s about an experience because it surpasses knowledge. I do believe such an experience of Christ’s love comes through good preaching and teaching that results in a good understanding of Christ’s work for us. But I think it goes beyond that too. One can know a lot, but not experience much. One can be very knowledgeable, but it can all be head knowledge. I think this prayer is a prayer for “more”. We’ll never fully grasp how wide and long and high and deep the love of Christ is. We’ll never be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God here on this earth. But we can grow in our experience of Christ’s love and of God.

Or take what Paul said in Ephesians 5:18, “Be filled with the Spirit”, which actually means a continuous filling - “Keep on being filled with the Spirit”. Jeff Purswell of the Sovereign Grace Ministries (SGM) expands on SGM’s statement of faith passage, “The Holy Spirit desires to fill each believer continually with increased power…” with the below:

The statement emphasizes the necessity of the ongoing nature of the Spirit’s work, including continual and repeated fillings of the Spirit (cf. Eph. 5:18). While one’s theological framework is important, we are nonetheless more concerned that second, third, fourth, fifth… sixtieth… (etc.) encounters with the Spirit actually occur than we are with what one should call a second encounter with the Spirit (either a “baptism” or a “subsequent filling”).

I think that’s my cry here. To experience Him in a greater way. To experience more and more of the Spirit. To experience subsequent encounters and never be satisfied with what I’ve got or how much God has got me.

As I mentioned in this entry, I’m not going to be too critical of a friend who I believe was recipient of wrong teachings but who nevertheless experienced a touch from God. Her seeking of God may be based on the wrong teaching (regarding the Tabernacle of God), but as I wrote,

while disagreeing with the above teaching (i.e. what I think is a wrong teaching on the Tabernacle of God), I recognize that many lives have been transformed for the better as Christians are challenged to seek God more and more. To me, this can only be a good thing. And maybe at times better than if one has the right theology regarding the Tabernacle of God and yet become passive and don’t continuously seek God or the filling of the Spirit (Ephesians 5:18).

Growth is important for Christians here on earth. We haven’t arrived; we’ve only begun. It’s fundamental to know who we are in Christ, that there is no condemnation and that we’re righteous in God’s eyes because of Christ’s work on the cross. But the Christian life doesn’t stop there. We ought to experience more and more of Christ’s love and be filled more and more with the Spirit. It’s about growth in intimacy and experiencing the Father in Christ through the Holy Spirit in a greater and greater way.

Beyond seeking more of God, I wanna hear God’s voice too. I want to be led by Him. I want such an experience. I’ve been fascinated down the years by Christians (mostly charismatics) who speak of being led by God through His voice. I’ve always thought that that would be cool, but how come that never happened in my life? At least not in a dramatic or consistent way. Am I missing out on something? I wrote this year about hearing God’s voice here and here. So it’s definitely something I’ve been thinking about recently. And something I hope to gradually experience more of.

I’ve been reading John Eldredge’s Walking with God. Not the kind of book I’d normally read because I don’t think Eldredge is very grounded biblically - as say someone like John Piper. Not that I read a lot of Piper at all - I don’t. I respect him, but I’ve had a decade of being influenced by Reformed Christians and Reformed theology. I think I’ve got a good biblical foundation, but I realize that there’s more to Christianity than that Christian tradition can offer.

Eldredge’s book is all about hearing God and that’s why I bought it. And I’ve loved it so far. I’m not sure I’ll agree with a lot of his theology but I’m not put off by that. I like the book because it’s a very personal book and he shares a lot about his experiences of hearing God and other things. I don’t think I’ll read his other books eventhough he’s more famous for some of his other ones.

Reading and understanding can be helpful, but I guess it’s ultimately about practicing and experiencing. And that’s what I hope for this season. I’m going on a bit of a fast and cutting out on various things in order to focus more on God. It’s not easy. Habits need to be changed. But I think it’ll be worth it eventually. Cheers!

Just watched the above. Awesome, awesome stuff. Need to watch more of these kind of things! The more I watch them, the more my heart is challenged to get out of this comfort zone which I’ve been in far too long. As I mentioned here, reading The Heavenly Man really challenged me. And I’ll probably look back upon that as a defining moment in my life. It made me think really seriously about being a missionary to China. It made me think seriously about being a missionary to a persecuted area. It made me think seriously about improving my really bad Chinese (Mandarin)!

I stopped learning Chinese when I was 10 years old when I left for Australia. When I returned back to Singapore, I didn’t want to study Chinese (I had too much to catch up) and was allowed to take German as my second language. So I’m your typical English-educated Banana/Potato (white on the inside, yellow on the outside for those not in the know) Singaporean who grew up not really liking Chinese. Of course I regret not continuing my Chinese because I’m so far behind now. People talk about Singaporeans being poor in their Chinese and that makes me even more discouraged to pick it up now because I’m so much worse than the typical Singaporean of my age! But I think I may pick it up real soon. Not sure whether I should because I don’t know if I’ll use it in future. Besides the fact that I’d like to spend time mastering my Spanish, I’m also not sure if I’ll go to China in future. I think there are places in the world that need missionaries more urgently than China - like Muslim nations and the unreached places. And anyway, I’m not sure how much I’m needed in China. The lives of Christians there would put all of us to shame. They know what it means to live for Jesus more than any of us. They know what persecution is about and they’d gladly suffer it. That can’t be said of us in the developed world. They’d make so much better missionaries to unsafe places (like Muslim nations) because they’ve experienced enough in their own country to not fear persecution!

Christianity in China is easily the real deal - clearly what Christianity is meant to be like. Of course, such forms of Christianity (when people are truly living for God and not building their own kingdom) are seen everywhere. But I don’t see much of it in the developed world. The Christians in China and places like that are the true warriors of faith. No doubt about that. No Christian leader in the developed world (no matter how famous or well-known) could even compare to most of those faceless heroes in China and the like.

I can’t wait to get Brother Yun’s new book Living Water. Though I don’t expect to agree with all the teachings in it (the book is meant to be of his teachings). I can admire his dedication to God without agreeing with everything he teaches. One can live the true Christian life without having one’s doctrines perfect, just as one can have his doctrines perfect (or more perfect) yet not live as one ought to live. I admire his lifestyle. But I probably wouldn’t agree with everything he teaches. I wasn’t comfortable with some of the songs I heard on the above video which focused more on what the Christians are going to do for God, rather than on what God has done for them in Christ. I still love grace and believe that good biblical teaching and preaching should be focused primarily on God’s grace as shown to us in Christ’s death for us. And that’s clear in the posts I’ve written on grace. What God has done for us in Christ is what the gospel is all about. The gospel of Christ is the message of God’s love for us in Christ. The gospel is not about about what we ought to do for God, it’s what God has already done for us. And yet there’s also a side of me that believes so greatly on giving my all to God - a place I’m very far from now, of course. (If I’m truly living that out, I won’t have time to blog. Duh!) I believe that Christians are called to give their all, to stop building their kingdom (which I think most Christians are actually doing, especially in the developed world) and to start living wholeheartedly for God and His glory alone. How do I reconcile the emphasis on God’s grace and the call to give all? It’s difficult. There’s a certain tension there, I admit. I love New Creation’s grace message (not everything, but a lot), but in my opinion there’s no way that the lives of the majority of the members of New Creation reflect how Christians are meant to live. I love the passion and zeal among City Harvest members for the lost (when they’re not thinking only of money), though I can’t agree with a lot of the teachings which lack the focus of grace. The lifestyle of City Harvest members challenges me (when they’re not chasing after money). I want to be in such an environment. It’s definitely closer to what I envision Christianity is meant to be, than it is in New Creation. The missions and reaching the lost. That’s beyond exciting! That’s what it’s meant to be like!

While I’ve been generally supportive of the Florida Healing Revival, I’d prefer to see Christianity in China as a model of how Christianity ought to be like. Up to this point, I don’t doubt that what’s happening in Florida is the work of God. But we also have to get our perspectives right. Christianity isn’t all about healing and miracles. Jesus promised persecution. Christianity as it’s meant to be would be filled with healings, miracles and persecutions too. It’ll be filled with suffering and victory. All of that happened in Brother Yun’s life and in the lives of many Chinese Christians. And I’m very sure that one day the Church will be awakened from its state of slumber. We will see increased healings and miracles, but also increased persecution. To tell you the truth, I can’t wait for that day…

I’m starting on the book Walking with God by John Eldredge, which was just released this year. John’s written many popular books before like Wild at Heart. I haven’t read any of his previous books and I don’t plan to read them. This one only caught my attention because it’s about hearing from God. The subtitle to the book goes, “Talk to Him. Hear from Him. Really”.

I’m quite excited about this book in a way. I wrote an entry on Hearing God’s voice about 4 months ago. I have to admit that I haven’t traveled far in this area since then. I know it takes time and commitment to learn to discern God’s voice. But a few events over the past few months have made me more determined to want to see if this works for me.

I first came across this book through Tim Challies’ review of the book. Challies’ blog is perhaps the most popular Christian blog on the Internet. He’s Reformed in his belief. And so a bit too conservative (i.e. non-charismatic) for my liking. Unsurprisingly, his review was more negative than not.

One book that I read very early on in my Christian life and which has had a bit of influence over my thinking (if not consciously, then subconsciously) is the very well-known book called Decision Making and the Will of God by Garry Friesen and Robin Maxson. While this book doesn’t explicitly argue against the possibility of hearing God’s voice (it’s not a book about God’s voice per se), it promotes a view of discerning God’s will that implicitly rejects the possibility or need to hear God’s voice. Rather, it argues that in matters that are not explicitly addressed by the Bible, God would want us to use wisdom to choose. That is, God doesn’t speak to us and tell us what we should do, but we’re given the freedom to choose according to our wisdom.

One thing good about this book is that it’s very comprehensive - it’s over 500 pages long! It deals with a lot of Scripture and you know that the authors have done their homework and thought through the issues. And thus I think it’s a good book to start with. Eldredge’s and Shultz’s book would prove useful to me because they are people with the experience of hearing from God. However, Shultz’s book still left me with a lot of questions theology-wise, and from the little I’ve read from Eldredge, I haven’t been too satisfied with some of his reasonings.

I do like good theology. I think all practices should be based on good theology. And I still have a lot of questions regarding the issue of hearing from God. However, while I don’t have everything figured out theology-wise, I do have faith that God does speak and that we can hear from Him. Having moved in charismatic circles for a long time, I know of too many incidents that point to the fact that God still speaks. Of course, I’ve experienced plenty of abuses too, but shouldn’t put me off.

Because of my experiences in charismatic churches, I’ve never felt fully comfortable with Friesen/Maxson’s book. But I like it because it’s comprehensive and I think anyone who promotes a view to the contrary needs to deal with their arguments. In fact, I’ve been waiting for more than a year for the Three Views on Decision Making and the Will of God to be released. One of the views would be argued by Friesen/Maxson and of course we’ll see two other views on this topic and two responses from the two other authors. One of the other authors would be Henry Blackaby, author of Experiencing God: Knowing And Doing The Will Of God, a book which I’m considering buying.

Anyway, let me quote from a section of Friesen’s website which summarizes the authors’ view. This is the main part of their view which has stayed with me all these years. I think everyone who advocates that we ought to hear from God always before making decisions has to grapple with what they have to say here:

The apostles modeled wisdom in their decision making - “We thought it best” (1 Thessalonians 3:1).

It is fruitful, when reflecting on this question, to observe the decision-making practices of the apostles as well as their explanations for the reasons behind their actions. For instance, some weeks after Paul and his companions were forced to leave the newly founded church at Thessalonica, they agreed on a plan. It is explained in 1 Thessalonians 3:1-2, whereby the fledgling church could receive further help: ‘Therefore when we could endure it no longer, we thought it best to be left behind at Athens alone, and we sent Timothy � to strengthen and encourage you as to your faith.’

How was their decision made? ‘We thought it best.’

As one reads of other apostolic decisions in the New Testament, one encounters similar terminology: ‘I thought it necessary’ (Philippians 2:25-26); ‘if it is fitting’ (1 Corinthians 16:3-4); ‘it is not desirable’ (Acts 6:2-4); ‘I have decided’ (Titus 3:12).

When it came to instruction in decision making, the apostles’ exhortations were consistent with their practice. Some choices were commanded on grounds of being ‘good,’ while others were ‘better’ (1 Corinthians 7:1, 9, 26. 38).

All of the decisions referred to have two things in common: 1) since they were not determined by God’s moral will they each qualified as a matter of freedom, and 2) the terms utilized in the explanations (’good,” ‘better.’ ‘best.’ ‘fitting,’ etc.) imply some standard.

It’s clear from the above that the apostles themselves didn’t always hear from God before making decisions, even if it was an important one! Or perhaps, they did seek to hear from God but God didn’t always speak to them about certain decisions. So for some cases at least, they had to use their own wisdom to make decisions.

Of course, I don’t think it’s right to argue based on the above Scriptures that God doesn’t guide us through speaking to us. I think He does sometimes. But the above indicates that He doesn’t do so all the time and perhaps we shouldn’t expect Him to do so all the time.

So in regards to decision making, I’d disagree with those who say that God always guides us through His voice, just as I’d disagree with those who say that God never desires to guide us through His voice but would always want us to make decisions based on our wisdom.

But hearing God’s voice is more than just for the sake of decision making. As a charismatic, I believe in the supernatural gifts like interpretation of tongues, prophecy and word of knowledge. I’ve seen them in action - again, both genuine cases and not-so-genuine cases. So even if one believes as Friesen/Maxson believe that God never guides us through His voice, there are other reasons for learning to hear God’s voice. A person could be sick and we could ask God for a word of knowledge regarding what we should pray for or what the cause of the problem is. I’m not gifted in all these, but I have encountered too many of such things to know that God still speaks…

I just came back (it’s now 2am Sunday morning) from Easter service at City Harvest Church and a night out with my friend’s CHC cell group. As I write I’m still full of awe and praise towards God for what has happened in the past 9 hours or so! A bit of background first…

As some of you know, I’ve been teaching English as a Second Language (ESL) for just under a month at a private Business School. I got into this field for basically one reason. I hope to do missions in future and teaching English as a foreign or second language is in great demand throughout the world - especially in the mission field where I hope to use this skill to earn a living and reach out to the lost.

When I was in Perth last year, I saw the amazing potential that teaching ESL had in reaching out to the lost in the developed world. And I knew that I wanted to do that in Singapore. The context in Australia and Singapore is different. In Australia, there’s a lot of opportunities to reach out to those on Working Holiday visas. Many churches give free English classes to these people and reach out to them through that. The English classes aren’t just a source of free English lessons but also a place to meet other foreigners and get any help from the teachers there.

In Singapore, you don’t have foreigners coming here on one-year Working Holiday visas. Rather, you have a lot of people from Asia who come here to study in schools. For those who come here to study in Primary or Secondary school, they would be able to integrate into Singapore society. However, many also come here for their University education and go to private schools that offer degrees from Western Universities. Before they are able to start their University studies, however, they normally have to go through English lessons to get their English level up to standard. A lot of these students are of course from China, but there are many also from Southeast Asian countries like Vietnam. And I think most of of them do not integrate that well into Singapore society. This is because their English is not very good. And a lot of private schools have students which consist mainly of foreigners. The places these foreigners live (especially the hostels) are also filled with foreign students. The result is that these foreigners tend to mix around with other foreigners - and thus most likely will not come into contact with Singaporean Christians.

There is thus a great need to reach out to these foreign students. And of course, the ideal person to reach out to such students are ESL teachers. And so this is what I wanted to do while being an ESL teacher in Singapore. I loved teaching. And I loved interacting with youth. I think I can relate to them well and am able to build up a good rapport with them. And I put a lot of effort in my teaching because I want to be the best teacher I can to help my students.

I invited my students to City Harvest for its 5:30pm Saturday Easter service. I didn’t invite them to New Creation because it didn’t have any special service and I knew that New Creation didn’t have the community to be able to reach out to them. I wanted a community of people that would be able to befriend them, make them feel welcome, reach out to them and follow up with them. I had a good friend in City Harvest and had visited his cell before. I knew that they would be a community that would be able to reach out to them. One thing I love about City Harvest is their strong cell community. New Creation sorely lacks this.

On Thursday, about 12 students said they would meet me for the service. I didn’t expect all 12 to come because something always crops up! But somehow as I prayed, I prayed for 11 to come. I thought that was perhaps a bit unrealistic, but I wanted to believe God for that. In the end, 11 of my students came and 1 of them brought a hostel mate of hers. In all, 9 mainland Chinese students and 3 Vietnamese attended the service.

The Easter drama was moving at times. I didn’t watch the beginning because I was waiting for some friends who came late. But the part where Christ was crucified was very good. I was glad for my Chinese students that the drama and the sermon by Pastor Kong were in both English and Chinese so they would understand what’s going on. However, I wasn’t too happy with the sermon as I thought the gospel presentation was extremely unclear. In fact, I thought that was probably the worst Easter service message I’ve ever heard. But I won’t get into that here

What excited me was the response from my students. Before the service, I was praying for 3 salvations. In the end, God surprised me when 10 of the 12 students actually responded to the alter call and went to the front!! I don’t know if every one of them understood the significance of it all as I thought the message was very unclear and also the alter call. However, I also know that most people don’t understand the gospel clearly when they first accept Christ. Whatever the case, I am full of joy that they did take the step they did. I’m reminded once again that this is the reason why I’m teaching. Yes, I want them to improve their English. But more than that, I want them to know Jesus and find true meaning for their lives.

After the service, my students ate together and got to know my friend’s cell members. This is the reason I brought them to City Harvest. Responding to the gospel is one thing. But it’s so important to be part of a community. And I don’t know any other Church in Singapore that can provide such a community like City Harvest can. Nor do I know any other Church in Singapore which is as passionate for evangelism and missions as City Harvest. While I don’t think City Harvest’s teaching is as good as New Creation’s, I’m quite happy to see my students get involved in the City Harvest community.

God is a faithful God. I’ve already seen answers to some of the prayers I’ve been praying since the beginning of the year. Not just regarding the above, but also in other areas. The teachings of New Creation have challenged me in my faith - especially as it relates to believing God for what we ask for.

Now I’m actually thinking and praying about two things. Firstly, on whether I should continue on teaching in my school. I have to make that decision pretty soon. I’ve already mentioned here that the English department is a big joke. And I kind of decided to stop working there once I finish with my present class next month. However, after what happened yesterday, I am praying about it. I know there’s a great opportunity to reach out to more students in the school. That’s what’s making me think twice about quitting. Yet, I don’t like short changing my students - something I’ll have to do if I continue teaching there.

The second thing is whether to continue to stay on in New Creation. This is not something new I’ve been thinking about. Rather, I’ve been praying about it for a while. I know I’ll never be able to get as good teachings in other churches as I would get in New Creation. On the other hand, my view of Christianity as a community is just so different from the community (or lack of) I find in New Creation. I don’t want to always reach out to people and get them to settle in another church! I want to be able to bring them to my church and I want them to find a loving community there. If I were to commit myself to another church, I could still buy and listen to New Creation’s CDs (or even attend their Sunday afternoon services), but you can’t buy community…

I’ve thought of becoming a vegetarian for many years. Well, I’ve not exactly thought extremely hard about it, but the thought has been there many times over the past 10 years or so. I bought a good Christian book about vegetarianism years back but have yet to read it. I’ve probably avoided reading up on this issue simply because I knew it would be hard for me to let go eating meat! Not that I’m crazy over meat. I’m not fussy at all about what I eat and can refrain from eating meat if I really want to. But maybe it’s more of the inconvenience. It’s not easy to live as a vegetarian in Singapore. And perhaps harder to do so in many parts of the developing world where I hope to live in in future.

But I’ve always known deep down inside that I should strive to become a vegetarian because of my faith. Well, I should do many things, shouldn’t I? I should get the hell out of Singapore and serve the poor in the developing world. I should go and do all I can to reach the unreached peoples. And ya, I should really think about becoming a vegetarian. If not now, then soon. If not dogmatically, then at least more fully.

Greg Boyd has recently written on his blog the reasons as to why he’s a vegetarian. His reasoning is quite simple. I summarize it here:

1) God originally intended for humans and all other creatures to eat plants for food (Genesis 1:29-30). This is confirmed by Genesis 9:1-4, where God said:

Be fruitful and increase in number and fill the earth. The fear and dread of you will fall on all the beasts of the earth and all the birds in the sky, on every creature that moves along the ground, and on all the fish in the sea; they are given into your hands. Everything that lives and moves will be food for you. Just as I gave you the green plants, I now give you everything. But you must not eat meat that has its lifeblood still in it.

Notice how God’s allowance for fallen humanity to eat animals was something new: “I now give you everything.” Why did God now allow man to eat animals? Because the “fear and dread” of man that now falls on the animals (due to the fallenness of all creation) has disrupted the peaceful and non-violent nature of creation. I think this means that animals will no longer act peaceful towards man and so God allowed man to eat animals.

2) The non-violent and peaceful nature of God’s kingdom which existed before the fall will be restored at the end of this age:

The wolf will live with the lamb, the leopard will lie down with the goat, the calf and the lion and the yearling together; and a little child will lead them. The cow will feed with the bear, their young will lie down together, and the lion will eat straw like the ox. Infants will play near the hole of the cobra; young children will put their hands into the viper’s nest. They will neither harm nor destroy on all my holy mountain, for the earth will be filled with the knowledge of the LORD as the waters cover the sea (Isa 11:6-9).

3) Therefore, in the past before the fall, humans did not eat animals. In the future when we dwell with God, we will not eat animals. But, what ought we to do now? I’ll end with Boyd’s own conclusion:

Now, the most fundamental job of followers of Jesus is to manifest the reign of God. I take this to mean that we’re called to put on display now what the world will look like when God fully reigns over it in the future. In theological terms we’re to be “the eschatological community.”

One way the New Testament expresses this truth is by referring to Kingdom people as the “first fruits” of a coming harvest (2 Thess 2:13; Ja 1:18; Rev. 14:4). The “first fruits” referred to fruit that ripened and was picked before others. In the Old Testament, first fruits were consecrated (set apart) to God and were a sign that God will faithfully bring the remainder of the harvest to fruition (e.g. Ex. 23:19). In the same way, Kingdom people are consecrated to God as a sign that God will faithfully bring his Kingdom to complete fruition.

As the “first fruits” of the Kingdom, our call is to be in the present what the entire world will be in the future, when the Kingdom is fully manifested. In a world that is yet under bondage to the rebel Powers, we’re to display what it looks like to live in the reign of God. Our lives are to reflect God’s will being done “on earth as it is in heaven” (Mt 6:10). We’re to be, as much as possible, heaven on earth and thus a window through which people can see the future into which God is leading the world.

If God’s original ideal of a creation free of violence will be achieved in the future, it seems to me that the job of Kingdom people is to manifest this ideal now, as much as possible. Which to me suggests that since humans won’t be killing animals and eating them in heaven, we shouldn’t be killing them and eating them now.

As a charismatic Christian, I’ve always been intrigued about hearing God’s voice. Charismatic Christianity has been a big part of my Christian life since I became a Christian about 13 or so years ago. I’ve attended charismatic churches, been to charismatic conferences and read lots of charismatic books and articles. I’ve seen before my eyes all things charismatic - healings, miracles and words of knowledge (or prophetic words or whatever you call it!) that have come true. And I speak in tongues everyday.

On the other hand, I’ve also immersed myself in a lot of non-charismatic Christianity. I was once (not now) very into Reformed/Calvinistic theology which gave me an excellent foundation in the Word of God. So besides hanging around charismatics, I also had many good non-charismatic friends. And I know how non-charismatics thought of charismatics and their practices. And also vice-versa.

Unfortunately, a lot of the criticisms non-charismatics have of charismatics are true. There have been a lot of excesses - especially in healing, prosperity teachings, prophecies and taking the Word of God lightly. On the other hand, I think there have been so many wonderful healings, miracles and true prophetic words that have blessed many lives. I’m a charismatic because I believe in all these. I believe God still works through all these. I have no doubt it’s God because I see lives transformed for His glory. I don’t understand non-charismatics who throw out everything charismatic. Because, anyone who does his research would know that there have been genuine healings, miracles and prophetic words. Now, it’s either that they’re of the devil, or they’re true and for today. There’s no way they can be of the devil for me because the fruits of these miracles and healing and all are that Jesus is glorified. The devil doesn’t do miracles to glorify Jesus. He can perform the miraculous, yes. But definitely not to bring glory to Jesus. Definitely not to make the recipients of these miracles more in love with Jesus! As Jesus said, a kingdom divided against itself cannot stand.

Anyway, back to hearing God’s voice. Whenever I see Christians calling out a word of knowledge for healing or speaking a word to another person which blessed the other person greatly (I’m talking about a specific word that they could only have gotten from God, not some general encouragement), I do stand in awe. Just as I stand in awe of the miraculous occurring - after all, the purpose of the miraculous is not only to bless the recipient, but also to bring glory to God as we stand in awe of his mighty works. Of course, I do realize that we should not crazily pursue signs and wonders. But there is nothing wrong with a healthy pursuit of these gifts from God, not forgetting that these are to bless people and bring glory to God, not to bring glory to oneself!

About 2-3 years ago, I attended a prophetic workshop at Trinity Christian Centre, a Pentecostal church in Singapore. The pastors talked about how we all can hear God’s voice and we needed to practice it (through trial and error) to improve our discernment of what’s truly of God and what’s not. And we had a whole lot of practice during those workshops! To say the least, it was quite scary for me. We were often grouped into pairs and told to pray for each other specifically. We didn’t know the other person so we had to try to hear what God was asking us to pray for the other person. Of course, a lot of us got a lot of it wrong and were embarrassed naturally! But that was to be expected. The idea was to practice and learn through trial and error.

I wasn’t too comfortable with it all, but I went along with it anyway because I do think it forced us to really start practicing and discerning God’s voice. Since that time, I guess I haven’t really practiced actively hearing God’s voice. Although, everytime I do see pastors accurately speaking a word from God to someone (for healing or whatever) that they could never have known without God speaking to them, it stirs up a desire in me to have a more intimate relationship with God like they have. I think that’s something missing in my walk with God, yet I didn’t know how to start. I guess I had also put off working on this desire because I’ve seen so many abuses. I have often wondered how different charismatics can hear from God, yet have such opposing theologies. For example, the two biggest churches in Singapore have quite opposing theologies regarding the grace of God, yet I know both are great churches blessed mightily by God and having senior pastors who truly love God and have a close relationship with Him. If God really speaks to them, why such different theologies? I still haven’t figured that out yet. But I think it just goes to show that we are still fallible and that we don’t hear God perfectly but are still influenced by our (theological) biases and filter God’s voice through our biases.

On Sunday, I bought a book entitled “Can’t You Talk Louder God? - Secrets to Hearing the Voice of God” by Steve Shultz at the excellent Heidi Baker event I attended. I finally decided to take that step to work on this desire of mine to hear God’s voice by reading up more about it. It was a simple book and I finished it in a few hours. Having finished the book, here are some of my thoughts:

1) God is always speaking to us, but we just don’t recognize it as God’s voice. When we have an impression to do something, this could be God speaking. When we feel peace about something, this could be God telling us something - e.g. this is the right decision. When we read the Bible and are struck by some verses, this could be God speaking to us. Of course, besides the above ways, God can speak audibly and through dreams and so on.

2) God speaks in our language and often into our thoughts. It’s not as though God speaks word-for-word and therefore if we don’t hear word-for-word, it’s not Him. I think I kind of always thought this (because of how some pastors portrayed it) and thus never thought that I could have such a word-for-word revelation in my life. But rather, most of the time he speaks into or through our thoughts - i.e we think those thoughts are ours but they are actually God. Of course, this means we need to discern what is of God and what isn’t of God.

A lot of times I hear people say something like:

Yesterday, God spoke to me. He said, “Keep having faith and you will receive what you ask for in the end.”

When I hear this, I think, “Wow, you mean God actually said word-for-word, ‘Keep having faith and you will receive…”. But now I know that it’s not God actually saying that word-for-word but rather it’s the impression and thoughts that came to the person’s mind that are from God. The actual words are words used by them based on the impressions and thoughts they have received from God. So if that same impression came to me, I may have worded it differently. Perhaps like,

Yesterday, God spoke to me. He said, “Continue to have faith. You will get it in the end.”

And a person during the King James English era who heard God speak the same thing would word it differently also. Again, it’s not that God speaks word-for-word, but through impressions and his thoughts put into our minds.

Andrew Wommack writes:

…communication with God is Spirit to spirit, not brain to brain or mouth to ear, the way we communicate in the physical realm. The Lord speaks to our spirits, not in words, but in thoughts and impressions. Then our spirits speak to us in words like, “I think the Lord wants me to do this or that.” The Lord doesn’t typically say “You do this or that,” but He will impress your spirit to do something, and then your spirit says, “I think I should do . . .” Therefore, we often miss the leading of the Lord, thinking it’s our own thoughts.

I kind of knew this already but I guess it was enforced to me once again as I read the book. Knowing that God has always been speaking and it’s not as though he speaks only word-for-word encourages me. Because I think I’ve heard God before. It’s just that I didn’t know it! So it’s time for me to be more discerning of His voice!

3) As mentioned already, most of the time, God speaks through impressions. Steve wrote:

Sometimes, I do mini-seminars on learning to hear the voice of God. I can boil an all-day seminars on learning to hear God’s voice into just three simple words. And here they are: “Follow your impressions!”

Of course he speaks through other ways too. But He probably speaks mostly through impressions to most people. God speaking through an audible voice is rare.

4) It takes a lot of practice and trial and error to improve one’s discernment of God’s voice. Practice makes perfect. From now on, I do hope to be more aware that God speaks through impressions. I think I have to dare to step out in faith too. We will not always be 100% certain that it’s God speaking but unless we step out in faith, we’ll never improve in our discernment. Stepping out in faith may lead to embarrassment. Sometimes, God may ask us to say something to somebody and we’re afraid because we’re not sure it’s God. But I think unless we’re willing to do the ridiculous, the miraculous won’t happen.

The paradoxical thing is that as we focus on hearing God’s voice and not our own, that’s when we have all sorts of thoughts coming into our minds which are from us! It’s also hard to keep quiet and listen to God. During prayer, it’s easy to talk and talk. But I think I need to spend more time just listening to God.

5) We hear God through our own filters. I mentioned this above already. But I think it’s important to state this again. Since we don’t receive words from God word-for-word, we actually interpret it through our own filters or lenses. Such may be theological or whatever. So God may speak to us about something but a Calvinist and Arminian may word it differently and because of their theological systems interpret the word according to their own system.

This is important to note because then we can understand why people of differing and opposing theological systems still claim to hear God’s voice. Surely, if they can discern God’s voice so clearly and easily, they would get their theology right and perfect and Christians who hear God’s voice would be one in all they believe! But God has specific purposes in speaking to us. It may not always be what we want Him to speak to us about. Or if He has spoken to us about our theology, our theological lenses and biases are so strong that it blocks His voice out. I think it just goes to show that we’re imperfect and fallible.

By the way, what I write in this point is my insight and what I think through my many years in both charismatic and non-charismatic churches, not what I learnt from the book.

6) Always be humble. If we’re imperfect and fallible in discerning God’s voice, we need to be very humble. There’s no place for going around telling people that “God said to me…” or “Thus saitheth the Lord”. Because, we can never be 100% sure. It’s better to say, “I think God’s told me…” or “I feel God telling me…”, etc.

I cringe whenever I hear leaders using the “God told me…” line. However, I also know that it’s a bit inconvenient to always put a qualifier on every word they feel is from God. Perhaps, to them it’s understood that this is what they feel and they’re not claiming 100% certainty. But I would rather them qualify their statements. If not, the result is that they may become too proud and people think that they’re so holy as they always get such clear words from God!

So anyway, I hope to spend 2008 seeking to improve in this area of my spiritual life. If anyone wants to share any of their thoughts, please do!

May the peoples praise you, O God;
may all the peoples praise you.
Then the land will yield its harvest,
and God, our God, will bless us. (Psalm 67:5-6)

I just finished a short book on Praise - “There’s Dynamite in Praise” by Don Gossett. Don’s a Word of Faith teacher. I’m not a huge fan of Word of Faith teachings, but then neither am I afraid nor ashamed to read their writings and learn something from them.

I’ve always felt that praise was closely related to faith. Praising God is an expression of faith in God when doing so in the context of difficulties one is going through. Let me explain.

1) Crying out to God is OK: It’s so easy to fall into depression and sadness when one faces obstacles in life. Certainly, we read this in the Psalms. People have emotions and we do get sad over things! So it’s OK for our soul to be downcast. There’s definitely a place to cry out to God and plead and beg Him for His mercy. There’s no need to pretend to be happy when you’re not. It’s OK to cry and be sad.

I was just reading Psalm 42 and 43. There’s talk of “tears” being the Psalmist’s food day and night (42:3). There are cries of “When can I go and meet with God?” (42:2) and “Why have you forgotten me? Why must I go about mourning…” (42:9; similarly in 43:2). The Psalmist no doubt was unafraid to show his emotions and sadness. He didn’t consider it unspiritual or ungodly.

2) Yet in the midst of crying out, one should not forget to hope in God and praise Him: Despite the cries from the Psalmist, we read three times in those two chapters these exact same words:

Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God. (42:5, 11; 43:5)

While it’s not unspiritual to be sad and cry out to God for help, as we clearly see all this in the Psalms, we need to remember that interspersed between all these cries are praises and exaltations of God. The Psalmists never forgot this. Perhaps we could even say that they ended with praises - i.e. in the beginning may be cries of help, but in the end were praises.

In the above quotation, the Psalmist seems to be speaking to his soul and saying, “Soul, eventhough you’re downcast and sad, put your hope in God and praise Him!” Indeed, we needn’t and shouldn’t come to a stage of despair because there is always hope in God. The Psalmist knew that God would deliver him. And he praised God.

3) A form of praising God that expresses faith: Going beyond the above, I think also that as we choose to praise God in the midst of our difficult situations, that expresses our faith. I’m not talking merely about the normal praise of God we do so all the time. I’m talking about praising God because we believe He will bring us deliverance and so choose to praise Him in advance for such deliverance. I think as we praise Him for the deliverance when we don’t see it, we are expressing our faith in Him. We’re saying to God, “I know you’ll deliver me and so I choose not to dwell in self-pity but rather to express my faith that You will deliver me by praising You right now for your deliverance.” I believe God honours such faith. And He’ll respond to your faith. Praise thus obtains the answer, when praise expresses faith in God to deliver and bless. There is power in praise!

I think a balance (I hate this word because it doesn’t convey what I have in mind) is needed here. As I said before, there’s nothing wrong with crying out to God. And yet, always being sad and crying out to Him may not be what God is looking for. Sometimes, maybe it’s good to praise Him in the midst of our difficult situations for the deliverance, we believe by faith, He’ll bring. It’s not about faking it, it’s about faithing it.

Whatever the case, it’s always good to praise Him - whatever the situation, good or bad. For that’s what God wants of us. And I hope to do this more in 2008, eventhough I know it’s so difficult to do so when one faces problems. It’s so much easier to cry out to God. It takes faith to praise Him.