Speak softly, love loudly: how Christians can love gays

I want to talk about how Christians can show love to gays. And I want your opinions too – from Christians and non-Christians, gays and straights, fundamentalists and liberals. I’ve already mentioned in my previous post that I hold to a more progressive and liberal view of homosexuality than most Evangelical Christians. I’m not particularly dogmatic about my view because I’m quite open to the fact that I may be wrong. The issue is complex. But let’s just for a moment (throughout this post) assume I’m speaking as an orthodox (conventional) Christian – as most Christians in Singapore are. As such a Christian, I would still be thoroughly unsatisfied with how many Christians have related to gays and continue to do so. As I mentioned before, we can say that we love the sinner but hate their sin, but in general gays certainly don’t feel love from Christians.

My 4th and 5th point in my previous post was about the importance of showing love to gays. I mentioned how Jesus related to sinners, how he was known as welcoming and accepting, rather than judgemental and condemning. And I talked about how it was the power of His love that transforms lives. That’s how I feel we should relate to gays. We should be first and foremost known as a people who love them. But how would that work out practically? How can we demonstrate love to them and be known as a loving community? This is what I’d like to explore in this post – or more accurately, what I’d like you to explore with me because I don’t have a lot of answers.

Some Christians may say that when we tell them God is angry with their sin and they have to change, we’re not being mean to them but actually loving them because we’re being concerned for their souls. This argument is used very often. I reject that because that’s clearly not how Jesus related to sinners, nor the woman in adultery. Jesus didn’t use fear to drive them from sin to God. He used love to attract them to Himself.

Let me just turn a bit to another issue that’s very controversial – abortion – to illustrate what I mean by showing love. I hold to a more conservative view of abortion in that I think abortion is wrong. But like the issue of homosexuality, this is an area I’m thoroughly dissatisfied with the Church’s response. In both issues, the Church tends to talk a lot, but do very little. And if there’s any doing, it’s in the form of protests – i.e. the doing is negative. So the words and actions are negative, and they’re not backed up with positive actions of love. Is it any wonder gays and women seeking an abortion don’t feel the Church or Christians love them? Like the title of this post, I propose we Christians ought to speak softly and love loudly. At the moment, the Church is shouting (condemnation and judgement) and not loving at all. When we start speaking softly (i.e. you do not have to let go of your belief that homosexual acts are sinful or that abortion is wrong, but just tone it down a little) and loving loudly (doing positive actions of love that touches people and speaks louder than your words), I believe we’ll see more transformation in lives. Like I wrote before, love always wins out in the end simply because love is the most powerful thing in the world and love transforms.

Going to the abortion issue and how the Church can demonstrate love. There is so much we can do to try and prevent abortion besides protesting outside abortion clinics or trying to use political force to make abortion illegal. These things are hardly going to reduce the number of abortions. What can have the double effect of actually reducing abortions and also showing the world that Christians are a community of love?

The Liberals tend to focus on reducing poverty as a way to reducing abortion because one big reason (not the only reason, admittedly) for women aborting their babies is the inability (financially) to take care of the child. Studies tend to agree that reducing poverty will reduce abortion. So even if Liberals are wrong in placing women’s choice above the baby, at least their focus on poverty alleviation reduces the need for abortion. Conservatives (Christians), on the other hand, mainly focus on political action to outlaw abortion, thinking that this is the best way to do so. Christians are known for their anti-abortion political rhetoric, not for their actions to reduce poverty in order to reduce abortion. Yet, why don’t we focus equally as much, if not more so, on reducing poverty and helping women bring up their child? This, to me, would be an awesome demonstration of the love of God. If Christians focused most of their energies on doing these positive actions that would save babies and demonstrate God’s love, and less on political action against abortion, I think our actions would be closer to what Jesus would do.

Let me quote from this brilliant website called All Expenses Paid (hopefully it’ll be developed!) started by a friend of mine. He is passionately pro-life, but so different from most pro-life Christians. Just read on:

The vision:…a network of pro-life Christians across the USA who are prepared to cover any and all expenses (and to sacrifice in myriad other ways) to ensure that every woman has every reason to “choose to keep” her baby rather than to kill it. This includes readiness to open our homes to provide short or long-term food and housing, readiness to pay for all medical costs from prenatal checkups through birth through postnatal care, readiness to adopt 20 kids per family as needed, readiness to not adopt if mothers decide to raise their own babies, readiness to provide vocational and career training that a woman (rightly or wrongly) fears she might miss out on due to an unplanned pregnancy, and readiness for such generosity to be taken advantage of. Finally, this network of pro-life Christians makes its offer known continuously in front of every abortion clinic in America and through the media in such a way that no parent could ever again claim financial burden as a motivation for killing their baby.

Fuel for the vision: For those who have trusted in Him, Jesus Christ has already paid all the expenses (our infinite sin debt) on the the cross to make us right with God. Thus as beloved children of the Creator and King of the universe we have no need to seek our own in anything but rather are free to become slaves and servants to all men.

Wow! Can you imagine that? If Christians rose up like this against abortion, you can bet that the number of abortions will be reduced and people will stop thinking of Christians as hypocritical and judgemental. To be sure, abortions won’t totally disappear because there will still be those who choose an abortion for reasons other than financial reasons. But what a witness that would be! What an expression of sacrifice and love which I think would win the world over and reduce abortions.

I brought up the abortion issue here because I’m a bit clearer as to how the Church can show love in practical ways. The above actions are very radical, but that’s how we’re called to love others as Christians. It’s easy to shout and demonstrate and all. It’s so much more difficult and sacrificial to take the above steps. Yet if Christians are really as concerned about the dying babies as they say they are, I’d like to see them channeling their energy into something positive (like the above actions) that actually helps reduce abortions, win lives to Christ and brings glory to God.

If the above are good and positive ways of showing love to women who are considering abortion, what positive actions can be done by Christians that will demonstrate our love to homosexuals and see them won to Christ and transformed? I’ll mention 3 things we shouldn’t do because it doesn’t show love at all, but rather the opposite, then 2 things I think we should do:

1) Don’t use dishonest means. I will try not to say a lot more about the AWARE saga here, but the whole incident gave a really bad name to Christians. It’s a lesson in what actions shouldn’t be done. The ends do not justify the means. Even the Anglican Bishop Dr. John Chew said:

Their “takeover” actions, though not contravening AWARE’s Constitution, nevertheless raised ethical and proprietary difficulties and challenges even in the minds of many Christians.

Even if the means were legal, the spirit of it all was not. You don’t just want to be right, but to be perceived and seen to be right so that you don’t provoke anger in those you want to reach out to.

2) Don’t use fear and alarmist tactics. The accusation and fear that there’s going to be a generation of gays raised if we don’t stand up against the gays is plain stupid and dishonest. And it’s not a fear that was expressed only during the AWARE saga. Such imaginary fear is also what makes Christians dishonestly claim that there’s a gay agenda which seeks to to promote the gay lifestyle and make straights become gay. This is just so ridiculous. I hope we Christians think before we say such things. It’s dishonest, it doesn’t help and it’s not loving.

3) Don’t use the law unfairly. When some Christians rose up against the repealing of Section 377A (which criminalizes gay sex), what were they trying to achieve? Is that the way we show love to gays? Would Jesus have tried to get the law to criminalize adultery or prostitution or divorce? Do we want to win them with our love or do we just delight in getting rid of them and putting them into jail and seeing them suffer?

4) Understand gays. I don’t claim to understand gays fully even though I’m sure I have more experience with gays than the typical conservative Christian out there. I attended a gay-affirming church in Singapore for about a year or so and I’ve read a bit about homosexuality. But I’ve still so much to learn.

I think most Christians do not know what they are talking about when they think it’s so easy for gays to change or that the homosexual lifestyle is always a lifestyle of choice. We can debate whether there’s a gay gene or whether homosexual tendencies are a result of nature or nurture, but ultimately all these studies are inconclusive. I’m sure both play a part, and nature may play a bigger part in certain individuals, with nurture playing a bigger role in other individuals. Pure common sense tells me that because gays are a marginalized group, it would be foolish for gays to choose to become gays and thus become marginalized. Gays have committed suicide due to depression as a result of being gay and rejected by society. If it were so easy to turn straight, they would have done so already! Nobody yearns to become marginalized and rejected! Of course there are some who don’t struggle as much. But there’s no doubt that there are many who, if given the choice, would not choose to have such gay inclinations and for us to not recognize the struggles of the many is not being understanding.

As a Christian who believes in a loving and powerful God, I believe by faith that God can transform a person from gay to straight. I’m sure there are many of such testimonies, as there are wonderful testimonies of other forms of healing – physical and emotional. But again, a simple search on the Net will show us that it’s not as easy to change and remain changed as we’re made to think by most Christian leaders. Many who have gone through programs in ex-gay ministries have fallen back into homosexuality, even the leaders of such ministries. What does this tell us?

Remember that throughout this post I’m speaking as a conventional Christian. You can be such a Christian who believes that homosexual acts are sinful and yet still treat homosexuals with understanding and empathy. Some of the above facts are things that many Christians are ignorant of or things they choose to ignore. Ignoring them doesn’t help us in our understanding of the complex situation gays are in. Understanding the above would make us treat homosexuals with much more compassion. And I think gays would appreciate that we took the time to understand their situation and the difficulties they face.

5) Understand our God of love and grace. I think this is one of the most important things we can do – if not the most important thing – if we want to learn how to demonstrate love to gays. The more we understand how loving and gracious God is towards us, the more we will love God and others. The more we understand how much we’ve been forgiven, the more we’ll love God and others.

I already mentioned a bit in my previous post about how Jesus treated the adulteress woman and other sinners. To me, the way he related to sinners is a stark contrast to the way many Christians relate to gays. Love comes first, not judgement. Jesus was so empty of self-righteousness and so full of a non-judgemental, non-condemning and non-fear inducing attitude that sinners were not afraid of relating to Him. Jesus never condemned sinners but He rebuked the Pharisees who were self-righteous and condemned and judged others. They were the ones who were so concerned about rules and laws that they missed the whole spirit of love. They were the ones He rebuked, and not the sinners. If Jesus were here today, I have no doubt which side He’d be welcoming and accepting towards, and which side He’d be rebuking.

Love and grace are so powerful that it transforms. If we focus on God’s love and grace, it’ll transform us. And I believe if we tell gays about God’s love and grace, rather than speak messages of judgement, condemnation and fear to them, it’ll transform them.

[I didn’t originally think of bringing in my church here but I’m going to anyway :) This is more for any gays – Christian or otherwise – who are reading, than for other straight Christians reading this. Christians who get easily offended may skip this part. But this is what I have to say: I would recommend attending New Creation Church for any gays who want to overcome homosexuality. It’s not a perfect church, but it’s the perfect environment to understand and experience God’s love and grace. It’s a place you will not get judged or condemned. I’m speaking here more about the message and the whole service, than about the people you’ll meet. In a church of about 18,000+ people or so, you’ll meet all sorts of people and many of us are still learning how to show grace and love and acceptance to others.

Pastor Prince believes that homosexual acts are wrong, but he also realizes that victory over sin comes through experiencing the love and grace of God in Christ, and not through feeling condemned and fearful. It is through hearing the gospel of grace that will give you power over sin and heal you of everything. So you won’t get any condemnation there. You can just experience the message of God’s love and I believe that’s the best environment to be transformed.

In New Creation, you won’t hear about what’s wrong with you, about how sinful you are. The focus is different. It’s not on sin or judgement or fear. And as Pastor Prince always says, we focus on Jesus, and not on sin, not because we make light of sin. Rather, it’s because we make much of Jesus. If we focus on what’s right with us in Christ, what’s wrong with us will fall away. You’ll hear a lot about Jesus in New Creation and very little about man and how sinful he is. The reason is because the more we focus on Jesus and understand everything about Him – the more we behold the glory of Jesus -, the more we’ll be transformed into His image (2 Cor. 3:18).

I didn’t forget what I wrote above about the difficulty of change. I believe change is possible, though a quick survey of people’s past experiences tell me it’s not easy. But if there’s any place I’d recommend first and foremost for gays who desire to be transformed, then it’ll be New Creation Church. I’m not ignorant that the whole issue is complex and change is difficult, but on the other hand I do believe in the power of love and grace and the importance of being in an atmosphere of love and grace so that it’ll inspire faith. Condemnation and judgement don’t inspire faith. Only the power of Christ’s love does.]

I’d appreciate the opinions of others on more practical ways we Christians can show love to gays.

PS: Books & Culture just posted a review of Andrew Marin’s Love Is an Orientation: Elevating the Conversation With the Gay Community.  Andrew founded the Marin Foundation, whose mission is “to build a bridge between the religious and GLBT communities through scientific research, and Biblical and social education.” I don’t think it’ll definitively answer our theological questions (the book probably wasn’t meant to do that anyway), but I’m guessing it’ll be a good read for most Christians just to get to know more about the gay community.

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17 Comments

  1. I treat homosexuals as I do smokers; when I interact with them, I treat them no differently from how I treat other “normal” people BUT there’s a line which I would not allow to be crossed ie. just as I would not want smokers to offer a cigarette to my kids, I also would not want homosexuals to suggest to my kids that the practice of homosexuality is acceptable.

    I believe true transformation has to come from within, ie. the desires are now different as opposed to behaviour modification ie. the same old desires are still there but suppressed.

    I also believe that true transformation can only come when you realize your true worth in Christ and therefore I feel that NCC is a good church to attend because its preaching emphasizes who you are in Christ.

    The homosexual does not need condemnation from the Church because the devil himself is doing that, playing mind games with them, and some of them suffer depression as a result. Leslie Cheung, the famous Hongkong singer who is homosexual, allegedly committed suicide due to depression.

    If I have a homosexual friend, I feel that the best thing I can do for him is to bring him to NCC and let Pastor Prince preach God’s goodness to him and show him how precious he is in God’s sight. I’m sure that Christ in him will start up the process of his transformation to be more and more like Him, from glory to glory. (2 Cor 3:18)

  2. Hi Stanley,

    I agree with most of what you’ve said except as I said before, I don’t believe gays are out there seeking to convert straights to gays, generally speaking. So the analogy of a smoker offering her cigarette to non-smokers isn’t very accurate.

    The rest of this comment is not directed at you but I wonder how Jesus would treat prostitutes and the like in front of His physical children if He had some. I think we Christian parents are so protective of our children and the like that we take things into our own hands. We feel its our responsibility to make sure they don’t get tainted by evil or evil thoughts or evil examples. So we come against the repealing of Section 377A and will fight strongly against gay marriage.

    I cannot imagine that if Jesus had physical children He’d be out there being so protective of them, making sure the law protects His children and the like. If He were like that, I don’t think He’d be able to reach out to the people He reached out to.

    I accept the homosexual lifestyle not in the sense that I approve it, but in the sense that I tolerate it and don’t discriminate against homosexuals. I don’t celebrate their lifestyle or endorse it. While I believe homosexual acts are sinful (like a lot of other behaviour), I’m in a sense “neutral” towards them and homosexuality when relating to them the same way Jesus was “neutral” towards the adulteress woman. Now, we may use different terms and argue Jesus was not “neutral”. And I’m fine with using another term. But the fact is that in comparison to how most Christians treat prostitutes and gays, Jesus was much more “neutral” towards them. My point here is that the way most Christians treat sinners is so negative that Jesus’ attitude can be seen as “neutral”. Jesus surely would not agree with adultery, homosexuality or prostitution, but in no way did He give the impression to others that that’s the case. Rather, he attracted sinners. In a sense, one could even say that in His actions, he wasn’t even “neutral” but was so “positive” that sinners just loved being with Him. That’s a lesson for us Christians.

    Going back to our children, do we trust God to take care of our kids enough so that we aren’t so protective of our kids and warn our kids about the homosexual lifestyle and speak badly about it? Do we trust God enough to tell our kids that if they have any gay friends, they should go the extra mile and show love to them because most in society are already rejecting them and this is our opportunity to shine for Jesus and show them that we love them and care for them, eventhough many others don’t? Or do we think that most kids are not smart enough to comprehend such matters so we’d better take things into our own hands and take extra precaution with them?

    Admittedly, I don’t have kids so I don’t know how parents feel. But worry and fear is wrong, isn’t it? Isn’t trusting God more important? As Pastor Prince would say, not many people admit it but worrying is a sin. I agree with Him there. And like him, I’m against inspiring fear in people – and most definitely inspiring fear in people against other people. I’m not worried about the supposed “gay agenda”. I’m not worried about the repealing of Section 377A. And nobody needs to fear gays or their “gay agenda”. We just need to focus more on Christ and be for Christ and His love, rather than be against any group or people or any agenda.

    Too many Christians say they love the sinner and hate the sin. But their actions and what they’ll do because of their over-protectiveness of their kids definitely do not make gays feel loved. And as I have been saying over and over again, that’s the litmus test. If Jesus could attract the outcast and marginalized of His time, until we start attracting the outcast and marginalized of our time instead of repelling them, we can’t claim to be loving them as Jesus did.

  3. Hi SHF,

    Long time no see, and it’s great to see you blogging again with such passion, humility, clarity, and most importantly grace. Thank you for your 2 most recent blog posts and I agree with you on a lot of points, especially our attitude toward gays.

    I think sometimes people place a great emphasis on homosexuality as a sin, not knowing that sin such as self righteousness, pride, anger, bitterness can at times cause greater damage to society than homosexuality.

    From that aspect, I think everyone comes before God on the same level and obtaining the same grace for our daily lives. This blog post can be retitled into any sin – “how Christians can love ____ people”. Angry, proud, fearful, worried, addicted, etc etc. And your post does address how we can treat them (or more accurately, each and everyone of us).

    What I am trying to drive at is, I can not understand why homosexual Christians are in the limelight more so than self righteous, proud, and bitter Christians – even though the latter can potentially cause greater damage.

    I understand what you mean when you say this “Isn’t trusting God more important? Too many Christians say they love the sinner and hate the sin. But their actions and what they’ll do because of their over-protectiveness of their kids definitely do not make gays feel loved.” towards Stanley.

    I will like to take this to a certain extreme to show a point – I always wondered – what would happen if I invite a profanity blabbering, tattooed, ex criminal friend to a cell group. Will the people show him grace like Jesus would? I am not sure. The litmus test as well, would be, will these people allow this man (assuming he is repentant and has a heart for Christ), to be exposed to their children.

    The answer is really not easy. Will a parent allow an ex sex offender to hang around with his children? I really do not know. I will be able to understand if a parent, will choose safety over love. In my mind, it is an impossibility to ever allow even my wife to be, to be exposed to anything that threatens her life or dignity. As my wife, I will do anything in my ability to not let harm come close to her.

    Having said that, I will never doubt the Love and Power of the Holy Spirit who will enable us to do the impossible. Elizabeth Elliot is one such person who has shown that Christ in her is infinitely more powerful than anything our minds can conceive, forgiving the people who killed her husband, and eventually bringing her toddler daughter to live among the tribe.

    to be continued

  4. Hey Donkey,

    Great to see you here and we should catch up one day!

    Indeed you’re right that we shouldn’t focus so much on homosexuality and that the way to love any sinner or even Christian who sin is the same way as mentioned above. It is not to confront them with judgement, but with the love and grace of God.

  5. Once you start defining something is a sin just because we defined it as such unless it is very clear in the bible within its original context, religion, custom and tradition, then we are starting to become little gods. The Pharisees who thought they knew God and the bible so much, got it so wrong because of judgement and self righteousness entered into their hearts. Jesus is the example we should follow and interpret the bible correctly.
    We can take a position that we are not under the law, but under grace, but we often forget in certain circumstances we impact the move of the Holy Spirit – when the innocent and the weak are wrongly accused and injustice reigns by our very hands.

    Have you ever wondered why we seldom see power evangelism so common in those days? even though you have great worship at NCC and I might say a modern day Apostle Paul at NCC.

  6. Hey, stillhaventfound,

    How have you been? Good to see your thoughts on this issue.

    I totally agree with you that we individually as Christians and corporately as a church should first and foremost be known as a people who show love to everyone, which includes gays, and even our enemies as commanded by Jesus. Of course, there are differences in opinions concerning how this is to be worked out practically, which will consequently affect how gays perceive whether or not Christians are loving towards them.

    Sure, Jesus is known as a friend of sinners and outcasts. He ate with them, loved them and accepted them. But He also never hesitated to say to them “Go and sin no more” and even warned that something worse may happen to them if they continue in their sins (see John 5:14 and John 8:11).

    If Jesus were to repeat that to gays today, He might very well be regarded as intolerant, judgmental and condemning. So when Jesus warned sinners that something worse may happen to them if they continue in their sins, wasn’t that resorting to using fear?

    Having said all that, I personally feel that Christians and the church have much room for improvement in showing love and acceptance to gays. They should do that first before saying anything else, just like Jesus who loved sinners before He warned them about the consequence of continuing in sins.

    But at the end of the day, even after showing love to gays, Christians cannot expect all of them to feel loved, especially gays who believe that homosexuality is normal and natural, and that they don’t need to change. Even by suggesting that homosexuality may be overcome might be perceived as offensive. Christians would just have to do what is loving and right, and leave the result to God. Don’t you think so?

  7. Hi Blogger for Poverty,

    Good to see your comment. Hope you and your family are doing good :) Yes, Jesus said “Go and sin no more”. But before that was the “neither do I condemn you” (John 8:11) or the healing (John 5:8) part. The grace and love of God is what attracts people to Christ and then gives them the strength when they are Christians to live for Him.

    So Jesus showed love and healing before he exhorted them to live a life of godliness. Many in the Church give the impression that it’s the other way round! But the grace and love of God comes before repentance and in fact is what leads to repentance (Rom. 2:4), and the grace of God teaches us to deny ungodliness (Titus 2:4).

    So I want unbelievers and sinners to know that God is a God of love and that God can heal and deliver. I don’t want them to know that they need to be fearful of sinning and God’s going to punish them if they keep on sinning. It’s true that God punishes sin but that can in no way be the overwhelming message of the Christian. The unique message of Christians ought to be about Christ who saves us from that punishment.

    So to me, the emphasis and uniqueness of Christianity is the wonderful truth that in spite of our sins, Christ died for us. I want to be so consumed by the cross of Jesus Christ just as Paul was, who boasted only in the cross of Jesus Christ (Gal. 6:14).

    So while we have Christians being concerned that we don’t cross some line drawn by God, I think Paul was only concerned that we get the message of the gospel of the cross out to everyone. It is precisely because we all have already crossed the line drawn by God and missed the mark and sinned that we need to hear the gospel of Christ.

    I think you’ll agree with all I’ve said. And yes, I do believe we’re not there to be loved. There will be persecution when we do present Jesus as the only way to God and in other matters that we do have to stand up for. Truth does divide too. But if sinners and unbelievers persecute and hate us, I think we should make sure it’s for the right reasons before rejoicing as Jesus said. A lot of times I just think Christians are persecuted not because they have been standing up for Jesus, but because they have not been Christlike or loving enough. And this is my concern regarding this whole issue of homosexuality.

    I don’t believe Jesus would be known as anti-gay the same way many Christians are. The reason isn’t because he condones the homosexual lifestyle. Of course I think He doesn’t. Rather, the reason I think is because his ministry was not focused on being against this sin or that, but being for the love of God. His ministry and His person emphasized and emphasized love and acceptance and healing before anything else. And I think that cannot be said of the Church in general.

  8. I think we are not being entirely biblical when we highlighted how Jesus related to sinners and then associate this with how to deal with gays.

    – Jesus never mentioned Gays as sinners.

    – Jesus greatest condemnation of sin was the people who were the religious leaders ie the leaders of our churches today!

    We are no different than the Pharisees if we focused on the sin of others, real or unreal. On the other hand, we will invite judgement – not for failing to love, but for hate and injustice.

    Perhaps judgement has already started ….. there was a line set by God for Singapore ….. its not the gay line but the line of grace. Don’t go beyond grace.

  9. Somebody please go to classmates.com and click on the blogs/groups/ whatever and click on Western Religions, click the blog “Homosexuality is a sin to be judged.”

    This person is just full of condemnation. I reminded her of how Jesus dined with sinners and that He loved them and treated them with mercy. I told her we can’t win anyone to Christ with condemnation, but with love and kindness.

    She just doesn’t get it. She turned on me and told me to get saved. A couple of non-christians have asked some questions concerning the Word, and she is attacking them. There are 2 admirers who defend her, and now all three have turned on me.

    It’s like the twilight zone in there, and she is just confirming to the non-believers that the church is full of judgmental people.

    Thanks if anyone is up to the challenge.

    Love in Christ Jesus,
    Melody

  10. I think real christians should embrace gays and lesbinas and love them and not judge or condemn us. As a gay man myself I’ve never seen a christian embrace me just as I am without pointing the finger first. Only when I went to Resurrection Metropolitan Community church in Housotn, TX did I see a real christian embrace me and hug me and tell me that he loved me just as I am. To truly love a person who is gay is to love us with open arms and embrace each of us in chirstian love without judging or condemning. All I ask is that every church be receptive and welcome people who are gay and lesbian.

  11. This is hard….I have gay friends who are non Christians and I find it easy to accept them. When I encounter Christians struggling with homosexuality, I am sympathatic and I do my best to support them.

    But I am hard and angry with Christians who are in denial that homosexuality is a sin. Adam and Eve (not Adam and Steve), Sodom and Gomorah, the Jewish laws….esoecially God’s creation of our bodies – the procreation process and sex…does point to God’s idea of a family unit and on the union of 2 genders. They want permission to continue in the lifestyle and flatly refused to face these clear chapters and God’s thoughts on homosexuality. The rise of gay churches led by gay ministers … I am angry at the ministers.

    I am also very angry at all the judgement against New Creation church as they have prevented many
    a conflicted gay Christian from seeking what I believe is God’s rescue plan. To wash them in grace, not insisting they give up their lifestyles but first establishing them in their identity in Christ. When they are established in their identity, the hurts of their childhood is washed away…the emotional abuses they had out up with will be done away…like new creations, they can start anew with new DNA. There is a recent testimony on JPM praise reports that the lesbian urges just disappeared.

    Right living starts with right believing and the key is simply being loved by Christ out of sin into right living. Right living isnt about being right with God but finally being free of bondages and leaving a life of abundance and victory. For my gay friends whom I love, its about having a toilet that doesnt have to hide lubricants and swaps of blood. Its about relieving that hunger to hunt for companionship in places like bars. Its about stability and establishing healthy relationships and having children.

    By denying homosexuality is a sin, gay ministers are not helping and leading the flock to a victorious life. Can gays go heaven ? I think Jesus will open the door…so the issue isnt about hell and brimstone then….its about the life on earth being a whole lot different. For every heartache, hopes and fears normally associated with the gay lifestye, Jesus could have opened that door to freedom if they let him.

  12. As far as all the Christians being against homosexuality, one can be against a particular sin but also love all people. But what I want to know is…why do we specifically pick that one abomination to repeat over and over? There are MANY laws in the Bible against this and that…such as “If you children will not listen or obey, you are to take them out of the city and stone them to death.” If Christians really want to follow law, then why aren’t we seeing more children dying for rebellion? Or why is it that many times here in USA you walk into any seafood restaurant and there sits the pastor eating OYSTERS! Shell fish are an abomination right?
    Simply put…all Christians SHOULD do is love their neighbor as COMMANDED by Jesus and truly learn what GRACE is all about. Just my opinion on the matter.

  13. I believe that failure to love our fellow man without exception, stems directly and may in fact be proportional to our failure to recognize the depth if our own sin and subsequently receive the love of God, which is manifest in the finished work of redemption of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

    1. Amen, Rod!! To be against gay marriage is to be against civil rights for all people AND to be against religious freedom for all. We are a democracy not a theocracy. We can’t say that marriage is only for a man and a woman when some men or women are not attracted to the same sex. We must accept them for who they are, especially since we have loads of biological proof that it is not a choice. All this talk about what the bible says is false. The word homosexual didn’t even come into being until 1968, so the bible is completely silent about homosexuality, just as it is about many things. So sad that we interpreted Greek and Hebrew incorrectly, and that only 25% of the people are college educated, which adds to the fact that we don’t think before we opine. There are only 2 commandments, love the Lord your God, and your neighbor as yourself. If you were gay would you want to be treated the way so-called Christians treat gays??? For the record, I am a born-again Christian. I recommend everyone, but especially conservative Christians read “Love is an Orientation” by Andrew Marin, a hard-core conservative who had God deal with him about his attitude toward gays and now he and his family live in and minister to the gay community. Can anyone say, attitude adjustment??

  14. I agree we need to show Christ’s love to homosexuals. Build relationships with them. Let them see Christ in you. Ask the Lord how to communicate His love for them. Have scriptures that you can share with them even with them in causual conversations. You don’t have to quote book, chapter, and verse in order to plant and water that God get the increase. Speak His word in truth and in love with compassion. Apply His word to your life. Be real with them. Share your weaknesses. All sin is the same to God. We might not be struggling with homosexuality, but there is something we are seeking God’s strength to overcome. His word is powerful. He will use the seeds of His word to draw them to Himself. He will open their understanding when it is time. Remember how you came? Remember how many people that God sent your way before you accepted Him? He drew you. He will do the same for them. Don’t be afraid to love them.

  15. I think your article on loving gays is right on the mark. I have been struggling with our government wanting to put through a same sex marriage bill. I do think it is wrong. But I am concerned about the number of gays that are committing suicide. For this reason I believe that to judge, condemn or bully gays is judging according to the flesh. I have relations who are gay and I do love them. But I need to remain focus on Love for them and try and discern what Jesus would say to them. If you can love the gays like Jesus would and follow his ways we will not walk in darkness. Jesus is the light of the world.
    If we as Christians can be born again in the Spirit then Christ who is Spirit will give us the words to practice and live our lives to Love gay people according to the Spirit.
    Some gays might not accept Jesus some gays will accept Jesus. To do this we need to help them to be born again. I as a Christian need to be born again too. I have temptations everyday too. I am not perfect either. The bible, church and prayers and contemplating on my faults helps me to learn to repent and find ways to repent. Thanks to Jesus Christ our Lord.

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